A "Pre-anniversary" Bouquet

I have the best fiancé in the world! In celebration of our "pre-anniversary," (discussed in my previous post) he had these flowers delivered to my door. They arrived an hour and a half ago and I'm still smiling about it. Pink is my favorite color and I love daisies because, like Meg Ryan's character said in You've Got Mail, daisies are such a friendly flower (go here to hear the quote).

Doing thoughtful things like these to brighten my day... chalk one more up for why I love Carl so much!

The question that plagues me, though, is what's the equivalent of sending flowers to guys? A gift card to Guitar Center or Home Depot? I honestly have no idea.

One year from today…

Today is a very important day for Carl and I, what we jokingly decided to call our “pre-anniversary.” One year from today we will be getting married. When we first became engaged back in February and we set our wedding date, it seemed impossibly far away. But now, it seems that time is flying and even with such a long engagement, our wedding will still feel like it’s coming up quickly. I am excited to marry Carl and start a life together, but I am also making a conscious effort to enjoy all the little blessings of single life too.

First, after graduating from Spring Arbor University (a school that I absolutely love and would recommend to anyone!), I moved back in with my parents while I completed my student teaching at Linden (the neighboring school district). I fully expected to move out once I found a job (which I assumed would be outside of Michigan), so I was completely taken by surprise when I found myself working fifteen minutes away from my parents’ house. Paying all that money for an apartment only a few minutes away from my parents seemed silly, so I decided to live here and save my money to pay off student loans. What I’m going to miss about home is the fact that I only have to do half of the chores—mom and I work together to do the laundry, clean the house, make lunches. And the best part, I very rarely have to make dinner. I did all of this for myself when I was in college, but I’ve gotten very used to having help—it’s going to be a rough adjustment at first. One of the things I love the most about Carl, though, is that he has been very adamant that he does not expect me to do all the work to keep a house in order. That’s a burden that needs to be shared. My biggest struggle will be to fight against my perfectionist, occasionally OCD tendencies that believe no one else can do the job as well as I can, so I might as well just do it myself. At least I’m aware of what I need to work on—that’s the first step, right?

My mom and I also love to go shopping. We’re clearance rack shoppers so we never spend a ton of money and in fact we most often save more than we spend, but it’s still wonderful that I don’t have to answer to anyone about how much I shop or what I choose to spend my money on. I fear Carl and I will have some disagreements to work through when we create a budget. Carl likes food and so he would rather spend money to buy good, top quality food. I can understand where he’s coming from, but for me food isn’t that big of a deal. I would rather spend much less money on food (which disappears as soon as I eat it) and use that money to buy clothes and things for the house that last for years.

Don’t get me wrong, I am excited about moving on to the next stage in life. But I don’t naively assume that marriage is going to be easy all the time. The process of two becoming one goes directly against the selfish human nature that wants to be all about me: what I want, what I feel, what I need. Suddenly, I must consider what Carl wants, feels, and needs. Each decision I make impacts not just me anymore, but us.

My life so far has been a wonderful adventure and one year from today, June 25, 2011, I will embark on a whole new leg of that adventure. And this time, I will always have someone to share it with.

My Junior Bridesmaid and Junior Bride

They looked so cute in their matching uniforms :) But they don't look so cute on the field...they kick butt!

Happy Birthday Mackenzie!

Today was a very hectic day. We started out with day one of VBS at my church. This is the first year we’ve done our own VBS so it’s definitely a learning curve but we are having so much fun (I can’t wait for tomorrow!). Today is also my cousin Mackenzie’s 11^th birthday. We went to Depot Park in Clarkston to celebrate her special day before we headed off to watch Mackenzie and her sister, Madelyn, play softball. So what does a birthday party have to do with my blog? In my family, we place a strong value on family togetherness—you don’t miss things like birthday parties. For example, my brother worked a huge landscaping job today and even though he was exhausted and two hours late, he made sure he was at her party. That’s just the way we are. I love my family very much and I love spending time with them. I would have a really hard time if my husband didn’t share the same values. I am so thankful that Carl understands how important it is for me to be with family and that he also comes to family events too. My family already counts him as part of us and I love it that he gets along so well with them.

Mackenzie and Madelyn may technically be cousins, but they feel more like little sisters to me. We are extremely close. That’s why I am thankful that they adore Carl. They are also going to play important roles in our wedding: Mackenzie as a junior bridesmaid and Madelyn as a junior bride. They are excited about our upcoming wedding and the fact that they get to be involved. Today, the girls forced us to be models for an impromptu photo shoot. They had us walking all over the park and doing different poses. Here are a few of their pictures.

Meet Matt Saylor

Mr. Saylor is another one of my ushers AKA Bridesmaids in disguise. In this picture he is with me and our friend Ash. I am very proud of him because he just walked in Kettering’s commencement last Saturday. One thing I really enjoy about Saylor is that he not only knows a lot about cars, he is great at explaining to me (an English major) how the parts of my car work in a way that completely makes sense to me. Saylor is also an amazing musician. He plays electric and acoustic guitars and he also has a great singing voice. He is my favorite choice to lead impromptu acoustic sing-alongs. He is always bringing me CDs to listen to of artists he thinks I will enjoy. And I always do--From Paramore to B B King to Grant Green (love his song "Idle Moments"). One of the things I love most about Matt is that he has such a gentle heart—he cares so much for people and definitely has a servant’s heart. I know that if I ever needed anything, anytime, anywhere, he would be there. Because he is such a sweetheart, I am also very protective of him. If any girl breaks his heart, she will have to answer to me!

School’s Out! Let the Planning Begin

The chorus of that song keeps running through my head, “And I’m freeeeee! Free fallin’!” I know this song isn’t referring to that feeling of elation on the last day of school, but it should be. I cannot even put into words how excited I am for the school year to be over. There are many benefits to summer vacation like sleeping in (I am not a morning person and I HATE waking up at 5:30AM), not dealing with disrespectful adolescents, going to the beach, having time to exercise, and spending time with family. But it also means that it is time for serious wedding planning.

I have a lot on my checklist for this week: Mom and I are going to continue the hunt for a wedding dress. This time we’re heading to Milford. My grandparents live just outside of Milford and my church used to lease space in a building right in downtown Milford so I have a lot of memories from that area. It’s a beautiful little downtown and there are two bridal shops there (one called Gina's, the other called Clothing Cove). We have been told that both of these shops are very nice and they make you feel like a princess. And I am all about feeling like a princess.

We want to use the summer to get a lot of the time consuming activities done like buying and printing invitations (we’re making our own) and putting together the slide show. I have seen slide shows done at the past few weddings I’ve been to and I really enjoy them. They start out showing pictures of the bride and groom as babies and go all the way to the present. Not only are the pictures fun to look at, but it gives guests something to do in that awkward time before the food is served. I have never seen pictures of Carl as a baby because they’re all at his mom’s house, but I have heard about them. One day, I was telling Carl that my mom never took any embarrassing naked pictures of me. Carl said that in any picture where he or his brothers are naked, his mom took a sharpie and drew little shorts on them. I am sure these pictures will be adorable and humorous. The slide show will be cute and nostalgic, but there will also be something unique about our slide show, and that is the creep factor. See, Carl is 10 years older than me. I never planned to marry someone so much older, but life surprises you sometimes. Needless to say, we get made fun of quite a bit for the age difference. So we think it will add an extra humorous element to the slide show to put the pictures in order by year. It will start out all about Carl, and then stay that way until he turns 10 and then baby Stephanie will come along. The pictures of my first day of school will appear right when Carl’s entering high school. The creepiness factor of age difference isn’t as big of a deal now, but it certainly would have been when I was 15 and he was 25. But since we were born before digital cameras, a lot of the early pictures of our lives will have to be scanned into the computer. A daunting task for sure, but I figure if we both do a few a day, it will go by much more quickly.

Meet Harley (usher AKA bridesmaid in disguise)

Another engineer and Kettering grad, Harley encourages me to have fun and embrace the child within. He is the car/truck expert. Any time I have a car problem, am stranded on the road somewhere, etc. he’s the first person I call. And if he doesn’t already know the solution, he can find it for me. He is also a great cook/inventor of food combinations and has introduced me to how good meat can taste when properly seasoned—especially bacon. I’ll never eat a regular, plain piece of bacon again. In this picture he is cooking a “manburger” for my birthday party. He is always a sympathetic ear when I’m frustrated about work and general aggravations of adult responsibilities because he started going through them about the same time I did. He taught me how to paint a room (I love it!). I also think he was the one who introduced me to Pandora (or maybe it was Adam), the internet radio that brightens my work day. Most importantly, I can always count on him for accountability and insightful perspectives on my walk with Christ and my spiritual growth.

I have also never forgotten the night he drove through an Ann Arbor parking structure in reverse and I’m pretty sure he’s driven cars at faster speeds than anyone I know.

Meet Adam (usher AKA bridesmaid in disguise)

An engineer and a Kettering grad, Adam is my tech expert friend. I swear he knows about everything related to computers and technology. He is an expert on all things Blackberry—he made me covet his Blackberry so badly that I went out and bought one of my own. He can also be counted on to make sure my phone has all the latest updates every time I see him. He has brought out my inner dork—and showed me how to embrace the dork inside. He has introduced me to Woot shirts, all things google (calendar, docs, gtalk, etc), Dr. Horrible, Castle Crashers, “stalking” with latitude on google maps, the droid OS, and the iPad. We both love playing Mario Kart, Super Mario Brothers, and Rock Band/Guitar Hero. He also has taught me a lot about motorcycle safety and the things I must have before I ride with Carl on his bike. I can always count on him for a good google talk conversation. He is also one of the few people who I know will actually read my blog posts.

Choosing Bridesmaids

I’ve chosen the wedding date and the wedding location. The next job was to choose my bridesmaids. By tradition, my bridesmaids should be my closest friends and confidants, and also females. That is where my problem lies. I have a few close female friends that I’ve had since I was young, but I’ve never had a ton of female friends. I HATE dealing with female drama. I am really not a tomboy, but for some reason, I tend to enjoy hanging out with guys more than girls. In my days at SAU I bonded very closely with a group of seven or so females. Still, we decided a long time ago that we would not have each other in our bridal parties because there was no way we could have all seven plus our friends from home, and we didn’t want to have to choose certain girls over others. Also, we have sadly drifted apart quite a bit since college. I will always love these girls, but they’re not as involved in the details of my life as they used to be.

When it came down to it, my closest friends are guys. Obviously, our relationships changed once I started dating Carl, but I love them dearly and really want them to be a part of my wedding. The question was: how? I went to a friend’s wedding last summer where the groom had his sister as a “groomsmaid.” She wore the same dress as the bridesmaids, just in black and she stood on her brother’s side. Then I saw the chic flic, Made of Honor, where the bride asks her best male friend to be her maid of honor. So, it would seem to me that the face of the traditional bridesmaid is changing. I discussed this idea with my friend, Adam. I told him that I wanted to have male “bridesmaids.” He was not a huge fan of the idea and said something along the lines of, “Please don’t do that to us Steph. If you want us to be involved, make us ushers” (I think maybe he was afraid he would lose a corner of his “man card” if he was called a bridesmaid). So, out of respect for his desire to keep a man card with all corners intact, I opted for the usher route.

The problem is, in most weddings I’ve been to, the role of usher is given to the people who you aren’t quite as close to as the other members of the bridal party. But that isn’t the case for me. So, when I asked them to be in my wedding, I told them their position was “bridesmaids disguised as ushers” and I want to put something in the program to that effect.

Blogger gives me a difficult time when I attempt to put more than one picture in a post, so I’ll just introduce my 4 ushers in separate posts.

Location, location, location

If I could have my dream wedding location, it would be on a beach. I love being on the beach more than anywhere else and, thankfully, so does Carl. If I had my beach wedding, it would look a lot like Ellie and Awesome’s wedding on the show Chuck—warm summer breezes, waves crashing behind you, and a rose petal covered path.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a John Casey who can use his government connections to secure such a location. The reality is, an outdoor wedding is just too unpredictable—you’re at the mercy of the elements. And it’s so windy on the beach that most people won’t even be able to hear the ceremony. Also, outdoor weddings seem to be more expensive, not to mention the extra expense of having a back-up location.

The beach was out, but I still wanted to find someplace special for the wedding, someplace where people didn’t have to sit around bored in the time between the ceremony and the reception.Most importantly, I needed a place that fit my budget. I could not believe how expensive reception locations were and then they required the use of specific caterers, many of them more expensive than I could afford. On a whim, we looked at options in one of our favorite local places to visit and shop, Frankenmuth. To our surpise we found out that Zehnders is actually a very affordable place for a reception. They don’t charge to rent the room, tables, chairs, or dishes…all you pay for is the cost of the food. My guests can walk around the town, visit the shops, maybe Bronners, and even take a horse-drawn carriage ride if they’d like. For Carl and I, there are many great locations for picture-taking, a romantic setting, and a chance to celebrate at a location that holds special importance for us and our families.

His name is Carl, and here’s just one reason why I love him

It was suggested to me in class last night that I should probably mention the name of this mysterious fiancé and a little bit about him. This seemed like a very good suggestion—after all, this blog isn’t just about me, but about our journey together. His name is Carl Montrosse and I happen to think he is pretty amazing. Every time I see him and every time I talk to him, I find one more reason to love him (I know, gag me! It is so sappy, but also very true). Let me give you an example:

A few years ago, my family purchased a swing for our back patio. It’s one of those that you see all over the place… has a canopy on top and seats three people (Similar to this one from Target). My mom, brother, and I instantly fell in love with it. In fact, we use it daily all summer long. Last summer, Carl was introduced to the swing too and he grew to love it as much as we did. Then, one evening a couple of weeks ago, my brother was sitting on the swing when the bottom suddenly broke through and he fell on the cement below (poor Sean). While we felt sorry for my brother, we were probably more upset that the swing was gone. Where would we spend our summer afternoons? Where would I have my outdoor office? You see, I love being outside in the warm summer weather and after being cooped up in a freezing, windowless classroom all day, I can’t wait to get outside. I had resigned myself to setting up my beach chair in the back yard and working from there. Then, Carl announced that he was going to fix my family’s swing. He spent a few days brainstorming a plan…what could he replace the canvas bottom with? And last weekend he fixed it for me. The swing is not even his and it’s not his responsibility to fix the problem, but he did anyway because he loves me. So now, I can sit out here in my outdoor office (as I have been for the past 5 hours) and grade papers, work on my personal essay, and make a blog post (thank God for laptops). And while I sit here, more happy and at peace than I have been all day, I remember my Carl and the fact that it’s because of him that I am able to do so.

I think the ability and willingness to fix things is a very sexy trait.

The picture quality is terrible, but I think it adequately demonstrates the "clingyness" of these dresses.

My first debut in a bridal party 2yrs old (my mom is in the blue dress).

Dresses for the Bridal Party

Though I have always loved the romantic notion of being a bridesmaid and secretly hoped friends and family members would ask me to be part of their weddings, I have only been in the wedding party for two weddings. I was two years old when I was a flower girl in my aunt’s wedding. I don’t remember anything about that day, but my family tells me I loved my dress because of the hoop skirt and all the lacy layers. I was so excited about them, in fact, that I wanted to show everybody. However, temperatures reached 90 degrees that day and neither the wedding or reception site had air conditioning, so in a few hours I was whining that I was too hot and wanted to take it off. I also was not happy because I could not take a nap in my dress. I doubt my bridesmaids will need to take any naps, but because of this experience, and the fact that I hope to take my wedding pictures outdoors, I am choosing spaghetti strap, tea length dresses for my bridesmaids—something light and summery.

My second experience came at 19 as a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding. The groom’s family is very conservative and his mother refused to let the bridesmaids wear any dresses without sleeves. There was only one dress at David’s Bridal that met the criteria. You know how there are some dresses that look good on the hanger until you try them on? Well, this one didn’t even look good on the hanger. Still, I tried to be supportive as I walked into a fitting room. As soon as I slipped the dress on, I knew we were in trouble. The dress was made of clingy material that stuck to every bump and wrinkle. I looked terrible…and I was the thinnest one, so I knew the others would not be happy with their appearance either. Still, I loved my cousin, and though I was in support of telling her mother-in-law to be, “This is my wedding and I really don’t care what you think of the bridesmaid dresses!” I knew she would never do something like that. So I paid over $100 for a dress that I hated and I will most definitely never wear again.

This is why I am trying so hard to find a dress that I think will look good on all of my bridesmaids…and also hopefully cost them less than $100. I know a growing trend is to give bridesmaids a color swatch and let them pick out their own dress, but I personally like the uniform look better. I know my dress choice will never make all of the bridesmaids happy, but my hope is that when they look in the mirror, they at least won’t hate what they see.

Burn out alert

I am a high school teacher who is feeling very burnt out at the moment. I know, it’s very normal for teachers to feel burn out at this point in the year. The kids are getting more hyper and out of control each day. The countdowns to the end of the school year have begun. It takes twice the effort to keep their attention for five minutes. But still, I think I’m feeling it stronger than others, probably stronger than I should be.

I am so sick of hearing, “Come on, Miss Hall. Why do we have to take notes? Why won’t you just let me sleep? Can’t we just have an easy day?”

“No, because believe it or not, we still have two more chapters to cover before the end of the school year. And though you may feel like checking out, you still have to take a final exam, which it is my job to prepare you for. “

And another favorite from today, I had at least three students ask me, “Can I go to my locker to get my book and notebook?”

“Why did you come to class without them?”

“Because I didn’t think I would need them”

“That’s odd, you’ve used your textbook and notebook in class EVERY DAY ALL YEAR. So what made you think today was going to be different?!?!?”

Don’t get me wrong, I have moments each day when I just look at my kids, even when they are frustrating me, and I have some small moment that reminds me that I love them to death. But right now there are so many things I would rather be doing than teaching all day… like planning my wedding! The whole reason we are not getting married until next June is because between teaching all day and taking grad classes, there is no time to plan a wedding. And I really want to be able to enjoy planning my wedding. This is a once in a lifetime moment and I don’t want to miss any second of it.

So, just like the kids, I am counting down the days… less than a month until school is over. I cannot wait to sleep in! It makes your whole day better when you don’t wake up to see an alarm clock say 5:00AM in your face.

Wow, that picture is huge!

How do I make the picture at the top of my page smaller? I already cropped it down quite a bit in Picassa and then I selected "shrink to fit" when I uploaded it.

Finding "the one"

I have always loved movies like “Princess Diaries” where a girl living a normal life finds out she is indeed royalty. I enjoy watching scenes of royal balls and imagining what it would be like to dress up and be a part of such an occasion. But, in reality I am a high school teacher. I will never make a lot of money and I am not marrying a rich man. I have no unrealistic expectations of grandeur—I will most likely never attend a royal ball. So this, June 25, 2011, is it. My wedding day is my one chance to catch the attention of everyone in the room, to feel like a princess. And I must wear a dress that makes me look and feel like a princess.

Two weekends ago my mom and I began shopping for this dress. Two stores and many dresses later, I now know it is going to be a time consuming process to find “the one.” This quest for the perfect dress made me think about how the search for the dress is in many ways like the search for a spouse. There were some dresses I knew I wouldn’t like as soon as I saw them—just as there have been guys I knew I never wanted to be with from the moment we met. Then, there were the dresses that looked pretty on the hanger, but just didn’t work for me. These are kind of like the guys that intrigued me, I saw potential in them that we might work well together. Then, the more I get to know the person, I discover that though he may be a perfectly nice guy, he’s just not the right one for me. Maybe our personalities don’t mix well, or maybe he dreams of living in a hut in Africa… Still, though none of these dresses or men were the perfect match for me, they did accomplish something very important: they helped me get a clearer picture of the characteristics that I want and don’t want in “the one.”

So the hunt for “the one” (dress) continues. I have seen some dresses that looked pretty, but I still believe that there is something better out there for me. I don’t want to settle for a dress that’s ok or even pretty when I could have worn the dress that is perfect. I am still holding out, waiting for that dress that takes my breath away as soon as I see it. Waiting for the moment of realization when I say, that’s it! This is “the one”! Going back to the men, I have not dated many guys. In fact, I have always been concerned about making the wrong choice in a spouse. What if I choose a guy who may be a sweetheart and who I may be happy with, but who is only “Plan B.” What if I settled for second best when, if I would have just been patient and kept searching, I could have found my perfect match? When I first met Carl, I had no idea what I thought about him. But he knew. He says he knew from the first time he met me that I was “the one” for him. Then, he set about the not-so-easy task of convincing me that he was “the one” for me too. It was not an easy or a quick battle that he fought for my heart, but I am so glad he persevered. I am so thankful that I’ve found “the one” and I will continue to search for the perfect dress, “the one,” to wear on the day we begin our new life together.