A "Pre-anniversary" Bouquet

I have the best fiancé in the world! In celebration of our "pre-anniversary," (discussed in my previous post) he had these flowers delivered to my door. They arrived an hour and a half ago and I'm still smiling about it. Pink is my favorite color and I love daisies because, like Meg Ryan's character said in You've Got Mail, daisies are such a friendly flower (go here to hear the quote).

Doing thoughtful things like these to brighten my day... chalk one more up for why I love Carl so much!

The question that plagues me, though, is what's the equivalent of sending flowers to guys? A gift card to Guitar Center or Home Depot? I honestly have no idea.

One year from today…

Today is a very important day for Carl and I, what we jokingly decided to call our “pre-anniversary.” One year from today we will be getting married. When we first became engaged back in February and we set our wedding date, it seemed impossibly far away. But now, it seems that time is flying and even with such a long engagement, our wedding will still feel like it’s coming up quickly. I am excited to marry Carl and start a life together, but I am also making a conscious effort to enjoy all the little blessings of single life too.

First, after graduating from Spring Arbor University (a school that I absolutely love and would recommend to anyone!), I moved back in with my parents while I completed my student teaching at Linden (the neighboring school district). I fully expected to move out once I found a job (which I assumed would be outside of Michigan), so I was completely taken by surprise when I found myself working fifteen minutes away from my parents’ house. Paying all that money for an apartment only a few minutes away from my parents seemed silly, so I decided to live here and save my money to pay off student loans. What I’m going to miss about home is the fact that I only have to do half of the chores—mom and I work together to do the laundry, clean the house, make lunches. And the best part, I very rarely have to make dinner. I did all of this for myself when I was in college, but I’ve gotten very used to having help—it’s going to be a rough adjustment at first. One of the things I love the most about Carl, though, is that he has been very adamant that he does not expect me to do all the work to keep a house in order. That’s a burden that needs to be shared. My biggest struggle will be to fight against my perfectionist, occasionally OCD tendencies that believe no one else can do the job as well as I can, so I might as well just do it myself. At least I’m aware of what I need to work on—that’s the first step, right?

My mom and I also love to go shopping. We’re clearance rack shoppers so we never spend a ton of money and in fact we most often save more than we spend, but it’s still wonderful that I don’t have to answer to anyone about how much I shop or what I choose to spend my money on. I fear Carl and I will have some disagreements to work through when we create a budget. Carl likes food and so he would rather spend money to buy good, top quality food. I can understand where he’s coming from, but for me food isn’t that big of a deal. I would rather spend much less money on food (which disappears as soon as I eat it) and use that money to buy clothes and things for the house that last for years.

Don’t get me wrong, I am excited about moving on to the next stage in life. But I don’t naively assume that marriage is going to be easy all the time. The process of two becoming one goes directly against the selfish human nature that wants to be all about me: what I want, what I feel, what I need. Suddenly, I must consider what Carl wants, feels, and needs. Each decision I make impacts not just me anymore, but us.

My life so far has been a wonderful adventure and one year from today, June 25, 2011, I will embark on a whole new leg of that adventure. And this time, I will always have someone to share it with.

My Junior Bridesmaid and Junior Bride

They looked so cute in their matching uniforms :) But they don't look so cute on the field...they kick butt!

Happy Birthday Mackenzie!

Today was a very hectic day. We started out with day one of VBS at my church. This is the first year we’ve done our own VBS so it’s definitely a learning curve but we are having so much fun (I can’t wait for tomorrow!). Today is also my cousin Mackenzie’s 11^th birthday. We went to Depot Park in Clarkston to celebrate her special day before we headed off to watch Mackenzie and her sister, Madelyn, play softball. So what does a birthday party have to do with my blog? In my family, we place a strong value on family togetherness—you don’t miss things like birthday parties. For example, my brother worked a huge landscaping job today and even though he was exhausted and two hours late, he made sure he was at her party. That’s just the way we are. I love my family very much and I love spending time with them. I would have a really hard time if my husband didn’t share the same values. I am so thankful that Carl understands how important it is for me to be with family and that he also comes to family events too. My family already counts him as part of us and I love it that he gets along so well with them.

Mackenzie and Madelyn may technically be cousins, but they feel more like little sisters to me. We are extremely close. That’s why I am thankful that they adore Carl. They are also going to play important roles in our wedding: Mackenzie as a junior bridesmaid and Madelyn as a junior bride. They are excited about our upcoming wedding and the fact that they get to be involved. Today, the girls forced us to be models for an impromptu photo shoot. They had us walking all over the park and doing different poses. Here are a few of their pictures.

Meet Matt Saylor

Mr. Saylor is another one of my ushers AKA Bridesmaids in disguise. In this picture he is with me and our friend Ash. I am very proud of him because he just walked in Kettering’s commencement last Saturday. One thing I really enjoy about Saylor is that he not only knows a lot about cars, he is great at explaining to me (an English major) how the parts of my car work in a way that completely makes sense to me. Saylor is also an amazing musician. He plays electric and acoustic guitars and he also has a great singing voice. He is my favorite choice to lead impromptu acoustic sing-alongs. He is always bringing me CDs to listen to of artists he thinks I will enjoy. And I always do--From Paramore to B B King to Grant Green (love his song "Idle Moments"). One of the things I love most about Matt is that he has such a gentle heart—he cares so much for people and definitely has a servant’s heart. I know that if I ever needed anything, anytime, anywhere, he would be there. Because he is such a sweetheart, I am also very protective of him. If any girl breaks his heart, she will have to answer to me!

School’s Out! Let the Planning Begin

The chorus of that song keeps running through my head, “And I’m freeeeee! Free fallin’!” I know this song isn’t referring to that feeling of elation on the last day of school, but it should be. I cannot even put into words how excited I am for the school year to be over. There are many benefits to summer vacation like sleeping in (I am not a morning person and I HATE waking up at 5:30AM), not dealing with disrespectful adolescents, going to the beach, having time to exercise, and spending time with family. But it also means that it is time for serious wedding planning.

I have a lot on my checklist for this week: Mom and I are going to continue the hunt for a wedding dress. This time we’re heading to Milford. My grandparents live just outside of Milford and my church used to lease space in a building right in downtown Milford so I have a lot of memories from that area. It’s a beautiful little downtown and there are two bridal shops there (one called Gina's, the other called Clothing Cove). We have been told that both of these shops are very nice and they make you feel like a princess. And I am all about feeling like a princess.

We want to use the summer to get a lot of the time consuming activities done like buying and printing invitations (we’re making our own) and putting together the slide show. I have seen slide shows done at the past few weddings I’ve been to and I really enjoy them. They start out showing pictures of the bride and groom as babies and go all the way to the present. Not only are the pictures fun to look at, but it gives guests something to do in that awkward time before the food is served. I have never seen pictures of Carl as a baby because they’re all at his mom’s house, but I have heard about them. One day, I was telling Carl that my mom never took any embarrassing naked pictures of me. Carl said that in any picture where he or his brothers are naked, his mom took a sharpie and drew little shorts on them. I am sure these pictures will be adorable and humorous. The slide show will be cute and nostalgic, but there will also be something unique about our slide show, and that is the creep factor. See, Carl is 10 years older than me. I never planned to marry someone so much older, but life surprises you sometimes. Needless to say, we get made fun of quite a bit for the age difference. So we think it will add an extra humorous element to the slide show to put the pictures in order by year. It will start out all about Carl, and then stay that way until he turns 10 and then baby Stephanie will come along. The pictures of my first day of school will appear right when Carl’s entering high school. The creepiness factor of age difference isn’t as big of a deal now, but it certainly would have been when I was 15 and he was 25. But since we were born before digital cameras, a lot of the early pictures of our lives will have to be scanned into the computer. A daunting task for sure, but I figure if we both do a few a day, it will go by much more quickly.

Meet Harley (usher AKA bridesmaid in disguise)

Another engineer and Kettering grad, Harley encourages me to have fun and embrace the child within. He is the car/truck expert. Any time I have a car problem, am stranded on the road somewhere, etc. he’s the first person I call. And if he doesn’t already know the solution, he can find it for me. He is also a great cook/inventor of food combinations and has introduced me to how good meat can taste when properly seasoned—especially bacon. I’ll never eat a regular, plain piece of bacon again. In this picture he is cooking a “manburger” for my birthday party. He is always a sympathetic ear when I’m frustrated about work and general aggravations of adult responsibilities because he started going through them about the same time I did. He taught me how to paint a room (I love it!). I also think he was the one who introduced me to Pandora (or maybe it was Adam), the internet radio that brightens my work day. Most importantly, I can always count on him for accountability and insightful perspectives on my walk with Christ and my spiritual growth.

I have also never forgotten the night he drove through an Ann Arbor parking structure in reverse and I’m pretty sure he’s driven cars at faster speeds than anyone I know.

Meet Adam (usher AKA bridesmaid in disguise)

An engineer and a Kettering grad, Adam is my tech expert friend. I swear he knows about everything related to computers and technology. He is an expert on all things Blackberry—he made me covet his Blackberry so badly that I went out and bought one of my own. He can also be counted on to make sure my phone has all the latest updates every time I see him. He has brought out my inner dork—and showed me how to embrace the dork inside. He has introduced me to Woot shirts, all things google (calendar, docs, gtalk, etc), Dr. Horrible, Castle Crashers, “stalking” with latitude on google maps, the droid OS, and the iPad. We both love playing Mario Kart, Super Mario Brothers, and Rock Band/Guitar Hero. He also has taught me a lot about motorcycle safety and the things I must have before I ride with Carl on his bike. I can always count on him for a good google talk conversation. He is also one of the few people who I know will actually read my blog posts.

Choosing Bridesmaids

I’ve chosen the wedding date and the wedding location. The next job was to choose my bridesmaids. By tradition, my bridesmaids should be my closest friends and confidants, and also females. That is where my problem lies. I have a few close female friends that I’ve had since I was young, but I’ve never had a ton of female friends. I HATE dealing with female drama. I am really not a tomboy, but for some reason, I tend to enjoy hanging out with guys more than girls. In my days at SAU I bonded very closely with a group of seven or so females. Still, we decided a long time ago that we would not have each other in our bridal parties because there was no way we could have all seven plus our friends from home, and we didn’t want to have to choose certain girls over others. Also, we have sadly drifted apart quite a bit since college. I will always love these girls, but they’re not as involved in the details of my life as they used to be.

When it came down to it, my closest friends are guys. Obviously, our relationships changed once I started dating Carl, but I love them dearly and really want them to be a part of my wedding. The question was: how? I went to a friend’s wedding last summer where the groom had his sister as a “groomsmaid.” She wore the same dress as the bridesmaids, just in black and she stood on her brother’s side. Then I saw the chic flic, Made of Honor, where the bride asks her best male friend to be her maid of honor. So, it would seem to me that the face of the traditional bridesmaid is changing. I discussed this idea with my friend, Adam. I told him that I wanted to have male “bridesmaids.” He was not a huge fan of the idea and said something along the lines of, “Please don’t do that to us Steph. If you want us to be involved, make us ushers” (I think maybe he was afraid he would lose a corner of his “man card” if he was called a bridesmaid). So, out of respect for his desire to keep a man card with all corners intact, I opted for the usher route.

The problem is, in most weddings I’ve been to, the role of usher is given to the people who you aren’t quite as close to as the other members of the bridal party. But that isn’t the case for me. So, when I asked them to be in my wedding, I told them their position was “bridesmaids disguised as ushers” and I want to put something in the program to that effect.

Blogger gives me a difficult time when I attempt to put more than one picture in a post, so I’ll just introduce my 4 ushers in separate posts.