Today is a very important day for Carl and I, what we jokingly decided to call our “pre-anniversary.” One year from today we will be getting married. When we first became engaged back in February and we set our wedding date, it seemed impossibly far away. But now, it seems that time is flying and even with such a long engagement, our wedding will still feel like it’s coming up quickly. I am excited to marry Carl and start a life together, but I am also making a conscious effort to enjoy all the little blessings of single life too.
First, after graduating from Spring Arbor University (a school that I absolutely love and would recommend to anyone!), I moved back in with my parents while I completed my student teaching at Linden (the neighboring school district). I fully expected to move out once I found a job (which I assumed would be outside of Michigan), so I was completely taken by surprise when I found myself working fifteen minutes away from my parents’ house. Paying all that money for an apartment only a few minutes away from my parents seemed silly, so I decided to live here and save my money to pay off student loans. What I’m going to miss about home is the fact that I only have to do half of the chores—mom and I work together to do the laundry, clean the house, make lunches. And the best part, I very rarely have to make dinner. I did all of this for myself when I was in college, but I’ve gotten very used to having help—it’s going to be a rough adjustment at first. One of the things I love the most about Carl, though, is that he has been very adamant that he does not expect me to do all the work to keep a house in order. That’s a burden that needs to be shared. My biggest struggle will be to fight against my perfectionist, occasionally OCD tendencies that believe no one else can do the job as well as I can, so I might as well just do it myself. At least I’m aware of what I need to work on—that’s the first step, right?
My mom and I also love to go shopping. We’re clearance rack shoppers so we never spend a ton of money and in fact we most often save more than we spend, but it’s still wonderful that I don’t have to answer to anyone about how much I shop or what I choose to spend my money on. I fear Carl and I will have some disagreements to work through when we create a budget. Carl likes food and so he would rather spend money to buy good, top quality food. I can understand where he’s coming from, but for me food isn’t that big of a deal. I would rather spend much less money on food (which disappears as soon as I eat it) and use that money to buy clothes and things for the house that last for years.
Don’t get me wrong, I am excited about moving on to the next stage in life. But I don’t naively assume that marriage is going to be easy all the time. The process of two becoming one goes directly against the selfish human nature that wants to be all about me: what I want, what I feel, what I need. Suddenly, I must consider what Carl wants, feels, and needs. Each decision I make impacts not just me anymore, but us.
My life so far has been a wonderful adventure and one year from today, June 25, 2011, I will embark on a whole new leg of that adventure. And this time, I will always have someone to share it with.
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